As a person with a substance use disorder, I was totally out of touch not only with myself, but with reality.
My addiction is threefold in that it affects me physically, mentally, and spiritually. May I feel the balance of a soul that continues growing more connected to its Higher Power. Let me breathe the blessings of each new day for itself, by itself, and keep my human burdens contained in daily perspective. Let me carry only the weight of twenty-four hours at one time, without the extra bulk of yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s anxieties. Can I truly believe that in my heart? Today I Pray To me, Walt Whitman once wrote, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle. Worse yet, many of my waking hours were spent clearing away the wreckage of the future. I often became obsessed with things that happened yesterday, last week, or even five years ago. Today I Will Rememberīefore finding recovery, I hadn’t the faintest idea of what it was to Live in the now. Instead, may each single day in each New Year be freshened by my newfound hope. May I learn not to stamp my past mistakes with that indelible word, forever. Let me not weaken my resolve by stretching it to cover forever-or even one long year. My traditional New Year’s resolutions have been so grandly stated and so soon broken. May I set my goals for the New Year not at the yearlong mark, but one day at a time. Do I still think in terms of forever? Today I Pray
No wonder I rarely smiled and hardly ever laughed aloud. I tried to take comfort in the forlorn hope that tomorrow would be different.Īs a result, I lived a fantasy life in which happiness was all but nonexistent. Endless hours were spent rehashing old mistakes.
I used to see everything in terms of forever.
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